The Remarkable Soul of a Women

Some time ago I'd realized that when I'd look at myself in the mirror I couldn't see that same girl I saw years ago. Where had I gone? And... what is that on my face? Another wrinkle? Another pimple? UH geeze! Why can't I be better? These and more questions surface every day, especially days when I am cooped up all day with no adult interaction. Being home all day with Tanner is such a blessing but a challenge for me none the less. Trying to keep myself busy so I don't let my thoughts go adrift and be hard on myself. One day last week was pretty challenging. I thought to myself, "What am I going to do today?... I could get the mail!" What a life hu? Stooping to the level of getting the mail to be the highlight of my day. This day though, getting the mail was the highlight of my day. Steven ordered me this book, so I sat down and devoured every page. I wish it was longer, is my only complaint.

Dieter Uchtdorf is one of my favorite speakers. In 2008 Uchtdorf gave a talk at the general Relief Society meeting that blew me out of the water. He answered my prayers in my quest to being the women I know I can be. He states, "The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before. Everyone can create. We don't need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty-and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children. You might say, "I'm not the creative type. When I sing, I'm always half a tone above or below note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or doorstop." If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are a spirit daughter of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn't it remarkable to think that your very spirit is fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it-you spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination. But to what end were you created? You were created with the express purose and potention of experiencing a fullness of joy.

Your birthright-and the purpose of your great voyage on this earth-is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways to find this is by creating things. If you are a mother, you participated with God in His work of creation-not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also teaching and nurturing them.. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next. You may thing you don't have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano.

Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before-colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter. What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast if burned? Don't let fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you-whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside. If you still feel incapable of creating, start small.. Try to see how many smiles you can create; write a letter of appreciation; learn a new skill; identify a space and beautify it.

Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. "There is a great work for the Saints to do," he said. "Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate you minds. Build cities, adorn you habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors your may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the meantime continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."

The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of our daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."

Grace

Last week I have been given that task of reading, "Forgiving Ourselves" by Wendy Ulrich. When I heard the title I was thinking...okay let's see what I can get out of this book. Wendy is a wonderful author that has helped me to understand that there is difference between sin and weakness. She writes, "Weakness includes susceptibility to disease, emotional disorders, temptations, same-gender attractions, addictions, and death. Because of our inherent weakness we may be awkward, unskilled, immature, or handicapped in a variety of ways. Such human emotions as anger, worry, fear, sadness, and pleasure are also inherently weak when untutored. Weakness can lead to sin, but weakness in itself is not sin. In fact, God is the author of human weakness, while Satan is the author of sin. We are weak my design, as part of the mortal experience. God is patient and tolerant with human weakness, yet He cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.... In the book of Ether, the Lord gives a succinct explanation of the relationship among weakness, humility, and grace. He says:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble: and my grace is sufficient for all men that fumble themselves before me: for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them. ( Ether 12:27)"
When I thought of grace before this book I thought of something graceful like a bird flying in the sky, or silk being blown in the wind, or a ballerina dancer. While putting together that God is graceful like things of that nature. Which I am sure is true to a point, but when we are trying to humble ourselves from the weaknesses we've discovered then how would His grace be sufficient for us? Wendy Ulrich explains, "Once we respond to our weakness with humility, God offers us His grace. Most of us are familiar with Nephi's teaching that "it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23). Just as charity is a special word for Christ's love for us-love we cannot fully understand without spiritual help-grace is a special word for God's particular brand of goodness to us, also beyond our full understanding. The LDS Bible Dictionary defines grace as "help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ... Grace is "an enabling power" by which weak humans may "receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means."
Wow! Grace is given help and strength from God! I have challenged myself the last couple weeks and have come across many weaknesses that I am wanting to strengthen. One foot at a time of course but with God's grace I will become strong!

Pondering on this...

No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try and resist temptation know how strong it is, after all, you find out the strength of the German army after fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by walking against it, not by lying down. A man who gives into temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They've always lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find the strength of evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it. And Christ, because he was the only man who knows to the full what temptation really means.

C.S Lewis. Mere Christianity